I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
