i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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