sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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