Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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