i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
