I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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