i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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