seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
