So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
