I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
