belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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