i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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