There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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