Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
