brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
