Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
