I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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