Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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