My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
