The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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