Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
