doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
