I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
