bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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