Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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