you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
