we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
