I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
