You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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