Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
be right there i have to get my cape
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
