I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
