Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We left the knife in your bed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize