Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
