1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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