so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
