I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
