what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
