Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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