When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
