I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
