Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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