Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
