i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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