Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
