i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
