Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
