Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
