I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
