he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
