belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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