Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
